K-mart Coffee Grinder: God’s Gift To Stoners

Well… his other gift.

It’s a legend so deeply entrenched within Australian culture and society that it really needs no introduction from some non-person who writes articles about weed on the internet. I haven’t touched your life in the same way this coffee grinder probably has. To tell you the truth, any explanation we come up with will ultimately fail to grasp the simple and beautiful truth at the heart of this machine.

Safe to say, the K-Mart coffee grinder is more than just a coffee grinder. It is a magical artefact that has a place in the hearts of drug users everywhere. It has proven essential to the daily Aussie routine in its myriad intersecting forms.

This product is essential to the lives of regular people. You likely have experience with it yourself; whether you’re sipping your morning cup of joe (that is, you’re one of the 12 people using this product as directed), or waking to your first cone of the day – or, both. I mean, why not?

To be sure, the K-mart grinder is an excellent utility and a surefire commodity, but it’s even more than that. This contraption successfully brings together the disparate tendencies of our fragmented society into cohesion, under a single unified banner of grinding things into more refined bits so they can be consumed for personal pleasure. Once separated by a chasm, stoners and productive people can equally rejoice in the early hours with their poison of choice, thanks to the best grinder that has ever fucking existed. It’s truly something to behold.

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And it’s only 13 dollars! (This article was not sponsored by K-mart).

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Surely, by now, the higher ups at K-Mart must have cottoned on to what’s driving the success of their product. It cannot be a coincidence that they keep these things stocked in just about every location. Australians do love their ‘coffee’, so it seems… just as much as they love their water pipes from Off Ya Tree. Curious.

For those who like their buds fluffy, rather than dusty… check this article out! The Grinderoo may be the answer.


Author: Mitch

Mitch Keys is a young writer from Brisbane, Australia unfolding in a dynamic process of becoming (like everyone else, so don’t go thinking he’s special or anything). He likes being alive.

Mitch Keys is a young writer from Brisbane, Australia unfolding in a dynamic process of becoming (like everyone else, so don’t go thinking he’s special or anything). He likes being alive.


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[…] Aussie consumers that are looking for a decent grinder for their weed will rarely search further than the kitchen appliance aisle at Kmart, but there are so many benefits to using a hand grinder over an electric […]

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